Let’s get straight to the point: Has your sex life been a little stale as of late? No, wait! An even better question would be: do you even know whether or not your sex life has been a little stale as of late? Chances are, your wife or girlfriend probably hasn’t had the nerve to tell you yet, but let me ask you this – how many times does she orgasm when you’re having sex? If you don’t even know the answer to that simple question, boy, you’re in a lot of trouble.
If you haven’t heard of the 50 Shades of Grey yet, firstly, what rock have you been living under? We highly suggest you to go out and buy that book. From now on, you are to make that book your manual. Your bible to all things sex. If you are having any problem at all in matters of the bedroom, this little book is going to be the secret to you adding a little spice to your sex life.
Let me give you a little hint on what it’s all about though: bondage and domination.
That’s absolutely correct. You’ve probably never thought that that many women were into that sort of thing, but the 60 million copies the book has sold should tell you just how many women are actually secretly into being completely tied up and ravished – and let’s get this out of the way: you probably want the same thing too. You can’t tell me you’ve never jacked off to bondage porn in the internet!
What’s the best part about this book? It’s that so many people are talking about it. It’s the thing that everyone is trying. It’s as if the whole woman population had just had a worldwide sexual awakening. Where it was once looked down upon for women to be sexually aggressive and assertive, now, it’s encouraged. Women embrace their sexuality. And most importantly, for any couple that is having trouble in the personal relationships, it is the opportunity to rekindle a dying flame.
If that’s what you’re looking for, you’ve come to the right place. We’ve compiled the 7 ways to spice up the bedroom 50 Shades of Grey style. Enjoy!
- Invest in a Good Sex Toy Kit.If you ever thought that vibrators and dildos were only a thing that women would use when you aren’t at home, then you have a lot to learn, my friend. If you want to start making sex a lot less “vanilla”, and a lot more MIND-BLOWING, then you’re going to need to familiarize yourself and make friends with a few of her toys, and use them when you’re actually having sex.
We recommend at least having one of these:
- A dildo.
- A pocket vibrator.
- The Hitachi Magic Wand.
Tease her, excite her, and trigger her senses. The more you hold off from having sex by simply giving her endless cycles of pleasure and taking it away, the more you are going to build up the sexual tension in the bedroom. And when she does finally come, it will truly be orgasmic.
- Don’t Be Afraid of a Little S&M
Without a question, one of the most prominently recurring acts in the book is spanking. If you’ve never tried it before, I can imagine why you might think it to be a little odd, and probably might not even begin to fathom how it can help with sex and intensifying pleasure, but believe me: it does. She’ll never know if she likes it until she tries it.
In doggy style position, gently pat on her butt lightly at first, asking her to tell you to either increase or decrease in intensity, depending on how she likes it. Remember to be gentle. Don’t try to force something on your partner. If she isn’t ready just yet, take a step back, and let her get into her own rhythm.
As Anastasia in the book said, “I surrender myself to the rhythm of blows, absorbing each one, savoring each one…”
Once you’ve moved on from just spanking, try using whips, or as with Christian Grey, a ruler. Don’t dismiss it till you try it!
- Get Kinky with a Blindfold
With this one, you don’t even have to buy anything new. All you’re going to need is a soft silk scarf (or anything else soft for that matter). Just make sure it feels nice on the skin.
Decide first whether it’s you or your partner that’s going to be the one being blindfolded. The blindfold increases sexual tension in the bedroom in two amazing ways:
For the person who is blindfolded, while they can’t rely on sight, their other senses are put into a heightened state. Since they can’t see, they’ll be relying on her other senses more, meaning they’ll be more sensitive to touches, tastes, scents. This also means that orgasms will be that much more intense.
For the person who isn’t blindfolded, it is also an amazing experience. They can feel a little more uninhibited – their partners can’t see! They’re able to do whatever they want… to an extent, of course.
Remember, talk it through first. If your partner isn’t ready for anything like this, don’t push it on her.
- Ropes Are Your Friend – Tie Up Arms, Legs, or Both.
You’ll find that with almost all types of BDSM and domination, there will almost always be some tying involved. Start out slowly though. There is absolutely no need to start going with big, crazy knots the first time around. Don’t tie too hard either! While the idea is to have her unable to move, she should still be able to get out of the knot if she wanted to. It’s just that the one who is being tied needs to understand that they need to stay put. Cutting off circulation isn’t sexy anyway. Also, make sure that you are using rope that is smooth and soft to touch. You don’t want any rope burn or blood. Surrender is going to be sweet. Let the dominator do all the work, to get the other into climax.
Rope is useful for a lot of situations. It isn’t just for tying their hands behind their back. That, again, is too “vanilla”. Why not tie her to the bedpost or tie her face down on the dining table? And if you’re a little bit more adventurous, check out Shibari rope suits. Now that’s what you call fun. 😉
Oh, and if you listened to point one and now also have a Hitachi Magic Wand, or any other kinds of vibrators, tease her with it. Use it on her sensitive regions, but also try just lightly moving it along her skin. If you have ever seen a woman shop, you’ll see they always almost immediately touch a clothing item first before picking it up. Women are more honed in on their sense of touch. Use this to toy with your partner.
- Be Someone Else for a Night
Have you ever wanted to dress up as a firefighter who comes in to save the damsel in distress? Or maybe as a teacher who disciplines a naughty student? Perhaps you want to reenact your favorite porno scene? You are never going to be able to unless you talk to each other about it and see what the other person feels about it.
Surveys actually show that women are into roleplaying just as much as you are. She’s just as excited to be the schoolgirl as you are to be the teacher. And since we’re talking BDSM, we can’t forget the master and the slave too – which is surprisingly high in the top 10 fantasies women admittedly have.
Women love a big, strong man that can sweep her off her feet – but equally, she loves to be on the other side of the equation as well. She loves the extremes – her being completely powerless, or her having all of it! Don’t be afraid to use a little force when you’re the dominator, but go along with it to if you’re the one being dominated!
- Take it Slow for a Change
While most men are turned on immediately, as if just turning on a light switch, arousal actually takes a lot more work for women – and getting her completely turned on all comes down to foreplay and how good you are at it. When it comes to foreplay and stimulating all erogenous zones, many men have a hard time. You can’t really blame us, as for 90% of the male population, arousal comes with the stimulation of just one thing – the penis. So it’s natural that we would think the same is true for women.
It isn’t though. We can’t compare each other. While we might not really feel much for touching or being massaged in certain parts of our bodies, the same isn’t the case if it was the other way around. For maximum stimulation for her, you’re going to need to stimulate all the parts in this list. We’ve broken it down to two categories.
Category 1: Erotic Zones: Her hair, lips (in the form of light and heavy kissing), neck, behind her ears, her palms, her wrists, inner elbows, ankles, and feet
Category 2: Orgasmic Zones: Her breasts (not breast – meaning, you can’t just pick a favorite), inner thighs, her labia, vagina, clitoris, ass, and anus.
The thing to remember is that you not only have to go through all of these during foreplay, but you also need to revisit each of these parts more than once! And yes, that can take some time, but believe me, she’s going to enjoy every minute of it… as will you.
- Be Vocal – Don’t Be Afraid to Talk Dirty
Sex in silence can definitely be very boring – very vanilla. Why not take a few tips from Christian Grey and engage in some dirt talk! Never underestimate the power of erotic words. It doesn’t matter if you’re going to be the dominator or the dominated, but unless you are being instructed to be silent (which is incredibly sexy as well), you should never be afraid to moan, grunt, and scream. Don’t be afraid to ask for more, and more, and MORE!
This can really put sex in a completely different level. It’s the most simplest of things, but really has a huge effect. Moan, move, squirm, breathe heavily – whatever it is, try to express yourself in the bedroom. It is extremely sexy.
That’s it! That’s the end of our list. Hopefully, after reading all of this, you’ll try at least one of our many suggestions. We believe that by doing even just one of these, you are already on your way to non-vanilla, mind-blowing sex. Now imagine if you’re doing all of these… Utter ecstasy.